Blogs 7 & 8

Divorce with dignity may sound like an oxymoron but as a Collaborative lawyer I do ask clients if they would like to try a different approach to divorce. The collaborative approach aims to enable a couple to agree the terms of a divorce or separation together through meetings held with their lawyers (called 4 way meetings) one aim of which is to keep discussions through letters to a minimum and instead have discussions round the table.

American comedian and actor, Robin Williams and his wife Marsha Garthes Williams, have just filed court papers confirming they want to deal with their divorce on a collaborative basis and agree to be “honest, co-operative and respectful” as part of that process. Surely this is better than the sight of a star having their pitched battles spread across pages and pages of the press as was witnessed recently with Heather Mills and Paul McCartney?

However, it will not suit every couple so it is unlikely to be the end of the Mills-McCartney scenario but if you genuinely want to try and achieve a divorce which leaves both you and your partner respectful of each other then have a read around. There is a lot of information out there to help you focus your thoughts.

www.resolution.org.uk for both general information on family breakdown and detailed information on collaborative law

www.collaborativefamilylawyers.co.uk

www.divorceandchildren.com This is a website run by Christina McGhee who has helped Resolution prepare a booklet to advise parents how to help their children through divorce.

www.itsnotyourfault.com This is part of the NCH website and offers helpful advice to children (and importantly has different sections for children depending on age) and parents

I have just read the story on the BBC News website about an Australian driver out in Alice Springs who was pulled up by the police for buckling up the beer in his car but not a 5 year old child. Apparently 2 adults were belted in the back seat were strapped in with the 30 can case of beer also strapped in between them and the child sat on the floor. A large fine duly followed.

I have not come across anything like this (yet) in my work but there have been times when car child seat issues can cause upsets in already fraught arrangements. If your child is living with the other parent and it is not possible to borrow the child seat they use then make sure you have your own seat to hand, make sure it is appropriate for your child’s age, weight and height and make sure it is fitted properly. If in doubt try one of the motoring organisations, such as the RAC or AA, for advice. The AA website for example advises on the update in regulations which mean second-hand or well-used child seats may be out of date this month and should be replaced if they are not approved to UN ECE Regulation 44.03 or 44.04 standard. Remember the tinies come first not the tinnies!